My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
