omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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