I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
