OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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