is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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