i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
