is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
