I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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