Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
