I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
