Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
