Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
