I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
