I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
