Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
