its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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