Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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