Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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