so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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