i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
