Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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