Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
