i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
