I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
operation have a gay friend backfired
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
