i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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