omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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