Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
