his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize