but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
