I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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