it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
