Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
