During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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