i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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