I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
