Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize