Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
