Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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