I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
