I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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