3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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