At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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