I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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