The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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