and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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