were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
