I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
