we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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