i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
smell my finger.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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