At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
