yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize