the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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