"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
