kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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