I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
