someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
